FEELING DOWN!!!

why i always can't get what i really want!!!!!
this feeling are sucks man...
HATE IT!!!

when i wanted to go out with friends...
the situation now not able to let me go!!!
i really hope to watch the movie i like at the cinema!!! not buying dvd watch at home alone...
haiz...

what's next!!!
haiz...
school is actually my second home now...
i really hope that i can play and chat with my friends all the time...
but can't!!!!(again....)zZZz
why?!
because i must go to duty in the morning....and also recess and the most important thing is only the time i can company my friends from different classes..to share things with...
haiz...
but look at the bright side...
i am going to let off my HP on wednesday...
so happy...XDD...but...
erm...
actually....i kinda miss it...
but...
can't help...i have to let go...because i got SPM to take...if i really continue it...
i think i can't manage to study well....

HATE IT TOO!!!!
CURSE IT!!!

i hate this kind of situation MOST!!!!
when i asked something from my gan di or my nearest friend to do what i asked for...
they always reject or yes! they do the thing for me...but at the end i am the one who finish it!!!
haiz..
even i asked them to company to go some place also don't want!!!although it's my last year in the school!!!!
so frustrating...
really can't accept the truth!!!!
but nevermind...
if they don't really like it...
i can't force them if not they will hate me...
it's too difficult to live in this situation...
such a headache life...

HATE IT THREE!!!XPP

lastly!
when i like someone...
when wanted to "kao" them...
when i have already be with them...
my family member sure will reject and always complaining about me....

but when i have already clash with my beloved one...
they like her!!!!
so insane izit!!!
like this also can!!!!

if i have already choose that kind of decision...do you think i can ask for couple back????
one word...
the answer is NO!!! tek!!!!!BIBIBI!!!!OUT!!!
so irritating....
haiz...

loving someone but can't be with her...
is a very damn torturing thing you know!!!!

WHAT ELSE...?
HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME???

FEELING LONELY???
FEELING STRESS???
HEADACHE OF YOUR BEHALF???
NO TIME TO DATE WITH YOUR BELOVED ONE'S???

TOTALLY SAME HERE MAN!!!!

toughness of life is more and more serious now....
life just so unfair...
life are so miserable...
life are so sick...

this feeling occur when the question i asked above happen...
why feeling lonely???
because we have no one to chat with...
share secret with...
laughing together with...
and the worst thing is no one understand your feeling...
no one understand the situation you been...
what can we do???
NOTHING!!!

feeling stress???
why???
for sure it is come from the pressure from the school teachers...
family problem....
tuition...
even no time for yourself to do the thing you like....
what can we do???
NOTHING!!!!(again...zzzz)

when you have your girlfriend or boyfriend...
what happen???
HEADACHE!!!
why??
when you have couple...
for sure you will be jealous when someone talk to your behalf...one....
and you will be so stress when you need your love one to company you but can't...
especially when the reason they give you are so...BULL SHIT!!!
what can you do???
NOTHING!!!
what can you do...
is accept the truth...

lastly...
NO TIME TO DATE WITH YOUR BELOVED ONE???
sure lo...
the above situation have already took you so much time
for sure you guys don't have time to do what you really wanted...

haiz...
my life just as same as your life...

life so sickening, full of sadness, and full of unwanted things!!!
just ruin our happiness....

HOPE..

i really hope when i go off...
leaving the prefect board...
give out my HP...
i will get a nice ceremony of retirement from prefect, school..and teachers...
i really hope they will appreciate on what i have done for school...before this...
i hope they will remember my name...
who am i...
and what i have done for school...XP

please...
this isn't call as greedy...ok...
it just i really done many things...
helping teachers...
walking all around the school whenever the teachers asking for my help...
done 3 or 4 things in one times...
although sometimes i can't do what the teachers asked for but at least i got try to help them...
i just hope they can actually respect me...

and the happy things is some of the school teachers and majority of the students have respected me as the school HP...XD

not just me in this school done so many things..
including my HP friends from others school have done the same things just like i do...
and been through the same situation same as i...

~so hard~

i have already got 6 handphone at school in within two month if i not mistaken...
really thanks to the person who told me about it...
if not i can't get so many phone in two month...(seriously..)
kinda feel sorry for them...><

my mum and my friends always warn me for doing this...
because they scared i will get into trouble for taking their phones..
but i can't just ignore...
the teacher have already too tired to do all things by themselves...
they need help sometimes...
so...this is the time for me to help them before i let go my HP...XP
although it's kinda hard for me...
since the teacher...is believe in me...
put all their hope in me...
i can't let them down..

although i kinda feel unhappy after i asked HP retirement for so many times!!
but failed!!!
i can't betray school because of this incident....
i must do...what i have to do!!!
haiz...
just s~o H~A~R~D Man...
zzzZZzzz

LOVE

loving someone is a very torturing thing...(for me..)
haiz...
especially when you crush on someone who have many other people like her!!!
it's very hard to accept that...
although it's normal for nowadays...
TOT...

she is kind, good, have nice smile too...
and always care other people feeling....
but!!!
why she make that kind of decision...
which will make others to be sad...
and down...

i really cant accept her decision...
just make me so sad!!!
and totally fed up...
ToT...
why????

X..haiz..today scold people in school...X

haiz..

today morning suddenly my anger is all around in me...

i let it out after saw the incident that happen in school before assembly today...

i also scold my prefect for not hearing my command and for not respecting me!

seriously...i don't want to scold them..

but still i have to...

it's for their own good..

if i didn't scold them..the teacher that taking over on us will do...

by the way/ following the rules and law of the school..

is the main thing for students to follow..

especially PREFECTS!

today when i scolding one of my junior...

his eyes is full of water...

just waiting to fall out..

haiz...

i really very damn frustrated to them...

i treated them so good...

i don't any repay from them i just want them to respect me as their upper committee...

so sad..

although just a small matter...

but it have already happened for so many times!!!

it doesn't matter for they to hate me...now...

i think when the time passes they will appreciate what i done for them..

if they don't want to be discipline now...

when they want to be???

its good to have many friends..

to play with..

to share their secret things with..

even gossip with is a good choice...

but since if you be with the friends that always making problem better

don't follow their attitude...

if its positive i won't mind and don't give a damn!!!

but6 if you guys followed the wrong example i must do what it is needed...

i know its not my problem if they wanted to be what or be like who...

but since they are in my prefect organisation...

i must care!!!!

really hope that they will forgive what i have done today....

[sorry guys..can't help..]

FEEL SO LONELY

today i feel so lonely....
really hope someone can come near me and sit beside me and talk to me...
sharing our thought and secret together...
can help each others when is needed...

today...at school i saw a girl which i know her pretty well...
although i seldom talk to her or play with her...
but still i know what person she was...
she played water with a guy, which i hate most.......(seriously...)
she poured the water onto the guy...

at the first i felt happy...
because i don't have to teach him a lesson by myself...
but when i continue watching them playing water at the canteen...
i can see that they are having fun over there....

then i started to feel angry...
not happy...
at the same time JEALOUS!!!
me myself also don't believe it...
it can't be real...

after recess i still thinking of the incident...
keep on THINKING...
and i felt like wanna chop that guy into pieces...
and i can neither pay attention nor focus in class while teacher is teaching in front...

am i really crush on her???
until now i still keep thinking the question..
and i still have anger in me....

after the incident happen i started to feel so lonely...ToT
really hope that the guy i mention is ME!!!!!!